Hello!

It has been such a long time since I posted on this site. I completely forgot that I had a livejournal account. Lol. My bad.

Wow and things have really changed from the last time I posted. I am no longer in College. I dropped out of it and went to work for a year.

Um, I met a boy from Algonquin named Kyle and we hooked up. Have been together for a year and a half now. Its going alright except he just quit smoking about a month ago and now he has really bad anxiety attacks... which can be really annoying since he always thinks he has HIV when he really doesn't... if that makes sense LOL.

We moved out to a nice apartment in a decent area, which I really like. Also, we got a puppy about a 2 weeks ago. His name is Boomer and he is about 9 weeks out. He's a miniature pinscher. A sweetheart and a little demon!!! Especially since he is teething. =/ Meerrrr.

Other than that, things seem a little more bearable with the family members, seeing as we are not stressing each other out anymore.

Oh yeah, I got a new job at The Home Depot about a month ago. I worked at Sobey's for close to a year before that. Good job experiences lol, I suppose.

Anyways,
Thats pretty much everything that has gone on since I last posted. If I think of anything else to post on here, I will definitely do another post to update others.

:)
Have a nice night <3<3
Cheech

I'm so fucking tired today...

UGH.

I need sleep so bad.

I chilled with Cory and Kellie last night... best time EVER. Lol. I missed them so much.
<3<3 I love you guys.


Math is officially done, except for the exam... thank god.
And um.... I have tests coming up soon so more stressful goodness.
Yay... not.


Still have to find a new course to switch into.
FUCK.


Someone do something with me this weekend.
K thx.

Chel

Oh and I forgot to add that yesterday, we had a big family dinner.

My grandpa asked "How are you doing in your courses?"
And before I could answer, my mother pipes up.
"Well she'd better be passing or there are suitcases with her name on it"
In front of everyone.
My whole family.


How does that make me feel?
Like absolute fucking shit.
She didn't need to say that.
And yet again, everyone finds it funny to rub that shit in my face.
FUCK YOU.

Current Mood: angry

Hey,

Well... I've hit the peak of my stress.
I'm just a big ball of mess inside ready to explode.
And I know its my fault for letting it get this way.

I don't know how to tell my parents that I want to switch my course.
My mom is going to freak, but I think my dad would be kind of proud.
I want to join Military Arts and Sciences.
James showed it to my today and it looks really interesting and something that I'd like to be in.
This computer stuff is just not my thing.
Like, its fun and interesting to a point, but its just not me.

I feel really bad too, cause I kept blowing Chris off.
I mean, it means a lot that he cares and he wants to know whats going on, but I'm not pushing my problems onto him.
I just think that I really need some help.
I might talk to my doctor about anti-depressants.
I just keep putting it off hoping things will get better.
Blah.

So yeah... thats my thought of the day.

How am I going to tell this to my parents?
God..

Oh yeah, looking for a job and a townhouse to move into.
LETS GO JOB HUNTING!!!
<3
Chel

Current Music: Authority Zero - Over Seasons

So... I've come to a conclusion about certain things regarding certain people.

I often wonder if those that I call best friends, really are.
I wonder why I'm even friends with them at all, and sometimes I can find reasons, but most times I can't.

For example, my friendship with Chris.
Yeah, I'd like to say we're really good friends, but at times I am so miserable about it.
I don't know anything thats going on in his life, and he doesn't know much about mine. We rarely talk about shit like that, and it bothers me sometimes. At other times, I think that he'd just rather say "fuck off and die".

We choose not to talk to each other about things, and I don't know why. Or when we do have a discussion, we usually explode and start another argument or fight. I just don't understand it. It makes me feel like I want to die. I hate fighting with people I care about.

I just don't fucking understand it. And the more I think about things on this level, the more and more depressed I get.

I did some things last night that I really fucking regret.
And I'd really like to talk to someone about it without them freaking out, but at the same time its not really their business.

Why is it so difficult to let this shit pass?
I kept hanging up on people last night cause I didn't want to talk. I was really messed up mentally last night.

And just when I thought we were okay again, people start prodding into my personal life that I don't particularly feel like sharing with many people... and it feels like another fight is commencing.

IT ALWAYS HAPPENS.

Am I really that bad of a person?

Chel

Current Mood: contemplative

I just did something I wasn't supposed to do...
I haven't done it in a year... oh god.

I'm sorry....

Current Mood: depressed

Hey....

So yeah...
Having the shittiest day ever.

So glad my parents are gone tonight.
I'm just going to sit here and watch tv...
Be numb and bored...

Then again, I deserve all this shit.
I'm sure.

Is it my fault that I'm worried about people?
I can't help that I'm so insecure about my friendships with people.

So I guess one of my only options is to back away.


Chel...

And this makes me want to do things that I shouldn't....

Current Mood: depressed
Current Music: A Perfect Circle - The Outsider

Hey

Well lately its been a little stressful at home.
Told my parents that I dropped DOS class, that didn't go too well, but it was better than receiving an "F".
So they can blow me.

Got my 3rd lip piercing finally!
It looks fucking sick.
Mmmmmm.
Sextastic.

Just came back from Sarah/Jake/Chris's apartment.
We were playing Mario Party hahaha.
We also went to this fancy tea place, wicked yummy.

Did I mention Betty Boop is fucking awesome?
Good, now you know.

I'm pretty fucking cheerful today and I'm not sure why.
Our comic setup is coming along nicely, I have to draw out some of the characters.
Hahaha, its so fucked up.
Maybe we can make a flash animation of it later on!
Hahaha.
So yeah.

EVERYBODY SCREAM, EVERYBODY SCREAM. IN OUR TOWN OF HALLOWEEN!!!!!
IN OUR TOWN, WE CALL HOME, EVERYBODY HAIL TO THE PUMPKIN SON!!!
LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA !!!!!
WEEEEE!!!

Marilyn Manson does an awesome cover of this song.
I need to watch Nightmare Before Xmas again soon.
YUMMERS.

<3<3<3
Chel

Current Mood: cheerful
Current Music: Marilyn Manson - This is Halloween

Hey,
Sorry I haven't written in here much lately.

Last night I spent a good 4 hours in the washroom puking my guts out. It was horrible. I feel like absolute shit today.

The scary thing was, there was blood in my vomit. So I'm kind of worried and I'm going to have to keep an eye out for more problems if they occur. :(


Other than feeling like shit, I think me and Chris are getting along much better now. It makes me happy.


Anyways, I'm going to make some soup and see if that stays down..
Adios

Chel

Current Mood: sick

Ugh..

I need to get laid soon.
This is ridiculous.
Ugh...

Current Music: Him - Your sweet six six six