Another nail in your Coffin....

Deathly Revelation

2008-06-13T03:13:27Z

Hello!

It has been such a long time since I posted on this site. I completely forgot that I had a livejournal account. Lol. My bad.

Wow and things have really changed from the last time I posted. I am no longer in College. I dropped out of it and went to work for a year.

Um, I met a boy from Algonquin named Kyle and we hooked up. Have been together for a year and a half now. Its going alright except he just quit smoking about a month ago and now he has really bad anxiety attacks... which can be really annoying since he always thinks he has HIV when he really doesn't... if that makes sense LOL.

We moved out to a nice apartment in a decent area, which I really like. Also, we got a puppy about a 2 weeks ago. His name is Boomer and he is about 9 weeks out. He's a miniature pinscher. A sweetheart and a little demon!!! Especially since he is teething. =/ Meerrrr.

Other than that, things seem a little more bearable with the family members, seeing as we are not stressing each other out anymore.

Oh yeah, I got a new job at The Home Depot about a month ago. I worked at Sobey's for close to a year before that. Good job experiences lol, I suppose.

Anyways,
Thats pretty much everything that has gone on since I last posted. If I think of anything else to post on here, I will definitely do another post to update others.

:)
Have a nice night <3<3
Cheech

Dead

2006-11-17T19:00:20Z

I'm so fucking tired today...

UGH.

I need sleep so bad.

I chilled with Cory and Kellie last night... best time EVER. Lol. I missed them so much.
<3<3 I love you guys.

Math is officially done, except for the exam... thank god.
And um.... I have tests coming up soon so more stressful goodness.
Yay... not.

Still have to find a new course to switch into.
FUCK.

Someone do something with me this weekend.
K thx.

Chel

Motherly Love

2006-11-13T21:24:38Z

Oh and I forgot to add that yesterday, we had a big family dinner.

My grandpa asked "How are you doing in your courses?"
And before I could answer, my mother pipes up.
"Well she'd better be passing or there are suitcases with her name on it"
In front of everyone.
My whole family.

How does that make me feel?
Like absolute fucking shit.
She didn't need to say that.
And yet again, everyone finds it funny to rub that shit in my face.
FUCK YOU.

Take on Me

2006-11-13T21:22:18Z

Hey,

Well... I've hit the peak of my stress.
I'm just a big ball of mess inside ready to explode.
And I know its my fault for letting it get this way.

I don't know how to tell my parents that I want to switch my course.
My mom is going to freak, but I think my dad would be kind of proud.
I want to join Military Arts and Sciences.
James showed it to my today and it looks really interesting and something that I'd like to be in.
This computer stuff is just not my thing.
Like, its fun and interesting to a point, but its just not me.

I feel really bad too, cause I kept blowing Chris off.
I mean, it means a lot that he cares and he wants to know whats going on, but I'm not pushing my problems onto him.
I just think that I really need some help.
I might talk to my doctor about anti-depressants.
I just keep putting it off hoping things will get better.
Blah.

So yeah... thats my thought of the day.

How am I going to tell this to my parents?
God..

Oh yeah, looking for a job and a townhouse to move into.
LETS GO JOB HUNTING!!!
<3
Chel

Numb

2006-11-12T21:56:06Z

So... I've come to a conclusion about certain things regarding certain people.

I often wonder if those that I call best friends, really are.
I wonder why I'm even friends with them at all, and sometimes I can find reasons, but most times I can't.

For example, my friendship with Chris.
Yeah, I'd like to say we're really good friends, but at times I am so miserable about it.
I don't know anything thats going on in his life, and he doesn't know much about mine. We rarely talk about shit like that, and it bothers me sometimes. At other times, I think that he'd just rather say "fuck off and die".

We choose not to talk to each other about things, and I don't know why. Or when we do have a discussion, we usually explode and start another argument or fight. I just don't understand it. It makes me feel like I want to die. I hate fighting with people I care about.

I just don't fucking understand it. And the more I think about things on this level, the more and more depressed I get.

I did some things last night that I really fucking regret.
And I'd really like to talk to someone about it without them freaking out, but at the same time its not really their business.

Why is it so difficult to let this shit pass?
I kept hanging up on people last night cause I didn't want to talk. I was really messed up mentally last night.

And just when I thought we were okay again, people start prodding into my personal life that I don't particularly feel like sharing with many people... and it feels like another fight is commencing.

IT ALWAYS HAPPENS.

Am I really that bad of a person?

Chel

Help

2006-11-12T03:37:53Z

I just did something I wasn't supposed to do...
I haven't done it in a year... oh god.

I'm sorry....

You fucking disappoint me....

2006-11-11T22:32:58Z

Hey....

So yeah...
Having the shittiest day ever.

So glad my parents are gone tonight.
I'm just going to sit here and watch tv...
Be numb and bored...

Then again, I deserve all this shit.
I'm sure.

Is it my fault that I'm worried about people?
I can't help that I'm so insecure about my friendships with people.

So I guess one of my only options is to back away.

Chel...

And this makes me want to do things that I shouldn't....

Everyone hail the Pumpkin King

2006-11-11T06:17:33Z

Hey

Well lately its been a little stressful at home.
Told my parents that I dropped DOS class, that didn't go too well, but it was better than receiving an "F".
So they can blow me.

Got my 3rd lip piercing finally!
It looks fucking sick.
Mmmmmm.
Sextastic.

Just came back from Sarah/Jake/Chris's apartment.
We were playing Mario Party hahaha.
We also went to this fancy tea place, wicked yummy.

Did I mention Betty Boop is fucking awesome?
Good, now you know.

I'm pretty fucking cheerful today and I'm not sure why.
Our comic setup is coming along nicely, I have to draw out some of the characters.
Hahaha, its so fucked up.
Maybe we can make a flash animation of it later on!
Hahaha.
So yeah.

EVERYBODY SCREAM, EVERYBODY SCREAM. IN OUR TOWN OF HALLOWEEN!!!!!
IN OUR TOWN, WE CALL HOME, EVERYBODY HAIL TO THE PUMPKIN SON!!!
LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA !!!!!
WEEEEE!!!

Marilyn Manson does an awesome cover of this song.
I need to watch Nightmare Before Xmas again soon.
YUMMERS.

<3<3<3
Chel

Sick

2006-11-08T16:44:53Z

Hey,
Sorry I haven't written in here much lately.

Last night I spent a good 4 hours in the washroom puking my guts out. It was horrible. I feel like absolute shit today.

The scary thing was, there was blood in my vomit. So I'm kind of worried and I'm going to have to keep an eye out for more problems if they occur. :(

Other than feeling like shit, I think me and Chris are getting along much better now. It makes me happy.

Anyways, I'm going to make some soup and see if that stays down..
Adios

Chel

Horny

2006-11-06T04:13:07Z

Ugh..

I need to get laid soon.
This is ridiculous.
Ugh...

ARRG

2006-11-05T15:19:27Z

Hey!

Well, my first night in my new bedroom. It was kind of weird :( Eh, once it stops being strange to me then I suppose I'll enjoy it.

It's snowing a bit this morning... just means this winter is going to be a long one. Ugh. Well maybe I can go skiing and skating this year, that would be pretty fucking awesome. Yay :) We'll see what happens.
I'm still stoked that my parents are gone for 3 weeks in January. Huzzah.

Other than that, I'm bored to fucking tears. I have no clue what I'm going to do today. Probably just finish up homework and re-string my guitars cause my Fender's string snapped on me yesterday. Fuck.

And as for my computer starting up no problem, its back to its old scheme's again. I just don't fucking understand it. It kept looping before it finally started up again.... it worked fine yesterday! Like what the fuck man. UGH. Fucking technology. Never works for me.

Chel <3

Tank Girl

2006-11-05T05:01:10Z

OI!

Well, I'd have to say today was the most unproductive day ever. GAH.

Been home all day working and doing random shit. Its retarded.
Like earlier, I moved from my room to my sisters room (since shes away at College by Toronto). I didn't realize my room stank so much, holy fuck.
I need a bottle of air freshner in there.

But yeah, so I moved into her room (ITS SO PURPLE AAHH) and it seems like theres more space so its okay.

Then I decided to format my computer cause it was being lame. Its working now though, amen! Haha.

And other than that, I've been downloading shitloads of music, playing SNES emulator on here and chatting. Haha.
So bored.. GRRR.

Anyways, yeah...
PARENTS ARE GONE TILL TUESDAY YAY!

<3Chel

Cocaine Blues

2006-11-03T22:07:46Z

Hey,

I am so tired out and stressed from school.
It's always one thing or another.
Just been so depressed and worked up over nothing this week.
It's definately weird.

I really want to do coke this weekend,
but Chris told me not to....
I just really want to do it so bad.
It's been a long time since I've done it.
I was thinking about quitting drinking,
But it doesn't look like thats happening any time soon.

I don't think I want to go out this weekend,
but we'll see what happens.

I keep managing to hurt myself today.
It's just been a bad day.
I was shaving in the shower and the razor cut through
my pinky finger and into the skin underneath.
It fucking hurts.
Then I hit my knee on the corner of the counter,
and then bashed my forhead into the window today.
Fuck.

Oh yeah, Chris asked me if I still didn't like Jenny today.
If I didn't like her yesterday, I think the answer is still the same.
He likes her, and thats cool and all.
He shouldn't worry about how I feel about her.
My opinion is nothing to a lot of people anyways.
I mean, if I liked someone, chances are I wouldn't give a shit what other people thought.
Then again, the people I date are assholes.
-shrugs-
I just need to chillout and relax a bit more.
I'm so high strung lately, and I feel bad cause I'm taking it out on everyone.
Sorry to all my friends.
You know you guys mean a shitload to me <3 *hugs*

Did I mention school is pissing me off?
I have no clue how I'm going to pass this course.
Ugh....

Chel

Almost Winter

2006-11-01T18:30:10Z

Okay hey!

Well last night I met Naomi and her boyfriend Adam. They are so cool. :) Haha, Adam dressed up as an emo kid and Naomi was a sexy nurse.
Lets see, people who were there last night were Matt, Sarah, Chris, Jake, James, Julie, Steff, Matt and ummmmmm who else was there? I think that was everyone pretty much. Hmmm...

It went really good for the first part of the night until everyone decided to split up and go to the bars/stay at the apartment. I got pretty mad about that.
Apparently we were too boring and Chris and Matt pretty much said "fuck this" and went to Zaphods to meet up with Jenny and people. I detest and immensely dislike Jenny. And just for the record, if a certain person is reading this, I am not whatsoever jealous over her. Or anyone for that matter.

That got me really mad, the fact that Naomi and Adam drove up here from Belleville to hang out on Halloween and Chris takes off to chase another cunt.

Now me being drunk as fuck by this point, had been to Babylon for a few minutes to see if we could get a pitcher of beer but it was too expensive (With Julie, James and Steff... everyone else was at Zaphods or at the apartment) so we headed to Conners. We ordered beer and nachos... but yeah. Chris calls and asks "Where is everyone? Where are you? Who's with you?" and to me, that is pretty much saying "you're boring, who are you with and where are you? if its too boring I'm going to stay here!". And the fact that he was being pretty anti-social before hand at the apartment just almost put me over the top. It was Halloween, we were supposed to stick together and... whatever.

Everyone else shows up at Conner's, cept for Chris. Matt had gone home, I'm assuming. We have another pitcher and we're having fun. Chris shows up, says hi to everyone, then goes back outside and re-directs Jenny and god knows who else in there.

Julie pulled me outside and I don't know what exactly just put me over the top, I just freaked out. I told Jenny to go away when she came outside and I went for a walk around the corner and I see Chris following me. We start argueing about the night, then Naomi comes and argues too, and everything and anything that had been bothering me up to this point just made me freak out. Jake walked with me and I just broke down in a panic attack, some gay guy came up and told me to "Shut the fuck up" and helped me out. He was funny haha. We talked to him for a bit and then headed back to Conner's, then proceeded to go back to the apartment. I don't know where Chris went, nor did I really care at that moment. And I'm really sorry that I felt that way and treated him like that.
So at the apartment, me and Naomi went out on the deck and talked. It was a pretty deep conversation. Talked about everything and anything, which I don't usually talk about to people I just meet... but she's got that personality where you feel safe telling her things. We're pretty similar, its really cool. I just hope I didn't scare her off.
Me, James, Naomi and Jake went to drop Julie off at the bus stop around 2am ? I think? LOL. James and Naomi went to get food, so it was just the three of us walking down Bank. We went to McDicks and got some food, then to the bus stop.
Me and Jake took such a long time to get home, haha. It was like an hour adventure. I realize now what a bitch I am. I think I'm going to stop drinking for awhile cause this can't keep happening on certain days of the year. I know my main focus of freaking out was Jen, and the fact that I felt I had no one there for me. Fuck, I feel like theres no one there for me when I see my older friends. Its really sad.
I can't remember if I talked to Chris on the phone before or after Julie left.... hmmm. I pretty much broke down again... I feel really bad about putting Chris through that.

I know he can't be there all the time and its unfair for me to say that he's being a bad friend. He's really not, he's doing a good job.... and I had no right to say those things to him, even though the thing about Naomi being sort of ditched is true... but like, I guess everything just boiled up to a point where this was going to happen sooner or later anyways.
I just want to say sorry for that, the earlier part of the night was awesome, I had a really good time...I just was not expecting this. :(

Chel

HALLOWEEN

2006-10-31T20:19:15Z

HEY!
Happyhappyhappy happy happy happy HALLOWEEN!

Yes... finally!
Its a cool, cloudy, halloween day. PERFECT.

Yes :D
I'm so excited about tonight... WEEEEEeeeeee

Booze...candy...booze...candy...bar...booze... MMMMMM ZOMBIES

So yeah, I'll inform you all of how it went. <3
LUFFERS YOU!!

Chel

Ghoulish Delight

2006-10-29T19:58:19Z

Wow,
Last night was sooo fucking fun!!

Me, Sarah, Jake and James got together at the apartment and drank. Then we proceeded to put face make up on for zombies and skeletons. Haha. It was awesome. I was almost drunk by the time I was done the face make up. James looked pretty fucking awesome... hahaha his skeleton jig was fucking funny!

We met up with Sarah and Kellie and them at the bar. It was okay, I guess. I had more fun on the bus ride than I did at the bar. Kellie just seemed so distance and what not... but whatever.

We were so loud on the bus. I thought this guy was starting shit with us, be it turned out he was fucking hammered too. Haha.

Me and Sarah got lost at Baseline, we couldn't tell what side we were on hhahahaha, omg. LOL. It was fucking awesome though. We're definately going as Zombies/Ghouls on Tuesday. Man.. I FUCKING LOVE HALLOWEEN!

GYAARRR
<3<3<3
So much fun.

And this morning, I woke up to Sarah and Jake jumping on me haahahaha. "I MADE YOU BREAKFAST!" "You better eat it bitch!" Haha <3<3 Jake and Sarah rock my rocks.

Anyways, hahah, yeah.. I need to shower I smell like poo..
<3 YAY HALLOWEEN

Chel

Halloween Spook-tacle

2006-10-27T19:26:41Z

Hey!

Just got back from the dentist. My mouth is frozen...so numb. I'm like, drooling on myself. Hahahaha.
That fucking needle hurt so much though... GRAAAYYHRAHDAG.

So yeah bitches, Halloween party this weekend. Going to a bar down Baseline, dressing up like zombies and getting fucking trashed. WOOOHOOO.

Fucking eh.

So yeah, if you know me, feel free to call my cell and show up for a bit. It's gonna be Gore-Tastic. Mmmmm......

Woot.

So yeah, thats all I'm going to type for now. My face is really bothering me...

UNFREEZE MOTHERFUCKER!

Oh yes. My daddy bought me ground soy stuff, like ground beef but meatless. WOOHOO. And yummy soy milk. Oh god... yummers..... <3

NAYOHMEE is hot. The end.

Chelsea xoxox

DEEERUNK

2006-10-25T23:29:10Z

OI

Well so yeah.. I'm kinda alittle drunk right now.
Went and saw Kellie and she bought me a few beers before work.
Was nice seeing her, we need to see each other more often...
my bestest bestest best friend <3
we're gettin g drunk on halloween||

MAN I LOVE BEER
chelsea

Home Alone

2006-10-25T16:37:40Z

So this past week here, has made me understand how unhappy I am.

I'm in a complete state of insecurity right now, and I hate it.
School is going down the drain, my parents don't give a shit about me... and I stopped calling all my good friends and hanging out with them.. aside for a few..

I didn't even want to go to school today. I went to sleep last night balling my eyes out...and I woke up and balled my eyes out. I just don't know what to do anymore. I don't even know who to talk to about this stuff without having shoved my problems on some poor other person who has more than enough to deal with already.

I want to move out, but I need a job... and getting a job and going to school right now is probably just going to put me through the roof with stress. I just don't want to be here anymore. I don't feel comfortable in my own house...let alone feel comfortable when I'm sober. I'm starting to get that dependency on alcohol again to fix my problems, and I know that it doesn't... it just makes it go away until I'm sober and hungover... and then it starts all over again.

I've started eating less, sleeping less, talking less to my friends (of which I haven't talked to my best friend in about 2 weeks now) and I'm just not happy. As much as I'd like to say that I am, I only have short bursts of happiness.... and guess what... they are when I'm drinking or away from home. Who would have figured?

So, I've got a lot of thinking to do lately. I'm pretty sure my mom is thinking about kicking me out of the house again, I just get that feeling...everytime I get that, she usually does. My dad starting talking to me again, as of last night, but my mom is refusing to say anything.

And during this whole time, that I could blame myself for everything thats happened in my family, I realize how much she put me down and how low my self-esteem is because of her. Everyone says its not my fault, everyone says how horrible she is. Well... for the most part she is a bitch. Sometimes she can be the nicest person ever... but no matter how much she's changed or hasn't... all those memories are still bundled up and shoved into the back of my mind. And everytime something goes wrong, I think of all those things that happened and it doubles the depression. She says that I'm useless, that I can't do anything right and that I'd be better off on the streets again... and she's probably right. After all, no one can argue with their parents and end up right.... ? I don't even know anymore. This isn't even making sense in my mind.

I will never get over it. I will never accept it.

Maybe, just maybe, I need a therapist.... or a shitload of drugs.

Chelsea

Everytime time we touch I get this feeling...

2006-10-24T21:59:08Z

Hey!

It's nipply outside... boo-urns!!!
It's starting to get that snowy feeling too...not quite rain but not quite snow.
ICKY POO POO BLAH!

So yeah, today was pretty uneventful. Went to school and tried to stay awake during my Basics lab and math. Math is pretty easy right now, thank god. Hah. The lab wasn't too bad either, cept our NIC card was pooched. Fucking thing. We would have had it done in like 20 minutes but yeah.... GRRR.

Chris and I went to Rideau around noonish and got Naomi her lipstick, hehe. Its a pretty color. Never been in a MAC store, but its pretty cool. Mind you, I'd never pay that much for my make up. LOL. We went back to his apartment after and he made me lunch while I did the dishes. Haha, Jake was all like "STOP DOING THAT" hahaha. I feel bad though, especially if someone is making a meal for me, the least I can do is do the fucking dishes... or I'm over there enough that I can do some stuff for them. God knows I've stayed over there so many times already lol. Good ole' drunken stupors.

And other than that, I left half way through Networking cause I just couldn't keep my eyes open.

Woohoo, tomorrow is a short day... I LOVE WEDNESDAYS AND FRIDAYS <3<3<3 But not this Friday cause I have a dentist appointment... *cries*

Anyways, thats all for now. Gonna play some guitar...
Toodle ooooodddddlleesss!!!

<3<3
Chel

My darkest desire....

2006-10-23T11:20:47Z

1-900-USA N-a-i-l-s baby!

Kay, I'm fucking tired :(
Pfftt.

Still not on talking terms with my parents, but thats fine with me. Just means I have to walk around like I'm walking on glass. Hmph.

At least today isn't going to be that bad. I only have a lab in Linux, which isn't that hard. For the most part anyways. The rest is all lectures today. Sleep time :P haha.

Oh, it appears that most of the class failed the Networking test, so that doesn't make me feel so bad now LOL. It's kind of sad though. My dad refuses to give me money to buy the Networking textbook. Woohoo....

Soooo... I need to figure out what I'm doing for Halloween. I still have no clue whats going on. Trick-or-treating and drinking... or drinking and Halloween Hardcore (show downtown) or whatever. Think I'm going to dress up as a zombie... well Chris said we should anyways, and zombies are pretty fucking sweet. Kind of sick from dressing up as a pirate every year LOL. No creativity there, rofl.

I think I need to get another job soon too. I don't like this idea of not having money, I'm so used to getting paid every other Thursday, ahaha. Means I can support my drinking habit... which is kind of sad in its own way. LOL. Yeah, I think I might go job hunting this week. Going to be a busy schedule though between going to school and going out on weekends... ugh. We'll see what happens.

So yeah... thats all I've really got to say this morning. I have to go get dressed and ready for the bus. BLAHHHHHHHH.

Chelsea

Asphyixation

2006-10-22T20:21:33Z

Okay...
Well this weekend went pretty good.

Me, Sarah and Jake went to the Flatliners. It was pretty small and crowded and the ventilation sucked, but the bands were pretty good. We started the pit on so many occaisons cause everyone was scared to do anything. Then the pit got out of hand and we got pretty bruised up. It was fun though.

We went to Zaphod's after and met up with Chris and Steph (and a few of her friends that had come to the show). It was pretty fun. We had a few beers, went to dance, haha. Chris was so drunk, it was hilarious. We did some things that made me feel really weird... and even though we did talk it out and everything, I don't know. I just feel a little weird. But on a lighter note, <3 you are an awesome friend Chris.

I got into a really big fight with my parents again last night when I stopped home with Chris, Sarah and Jake. My mom always does this. It makes me feel like absolute shit when she pins stuff to me. She called me a bitch and all of this other shit last night. I'm sorry, but she has no right to verbally abuse me like that. She says she deserves oh so much more, but I find it hard to get close to her when everytime I do something nice, she freaks out about something. She always says she doesn't want to be like her mother, but she's doing it anyways. She's freaking out and making a situation out of nothing. I told her I might not be home that night, its not my fault that she doesn't listen.

I felt bad though, I wasn't very social on the way back to their apartment. I balled my eyes out when Jake was hugging me. Thank you, Jake, I'm really sorry you guys had to be there.

It just makes me feel so insecure. Especially when shes said that she wished she never had me in the first place a while back. She denies that she's ever hit me or abused me.... that it was all discipline..but I'm sorry... punching me does not count as discipline. Or screaming obsenities at me when you've had a bad day. I'm sorry. She makes me feel like no one and absolutely nothing. I don't think there's anything I can do about it cause everytime I bring it up, she freaks out and plays the victim. It always happens. AND SHE NEVER LISTENS TO ME. I blame her for everything that I've done in life... I blame her for not being there when I needed her the most. I blame you for not knowing what Jason did to me and Kara. I BLAME YOU. You make me feel like shit even when I've had the best of days. Why can't you ever see where I'm coming from? I love you cause your my mother and all, but I hate being around you when you slip into those moods. Fuck... I just don't know what to do. I wish Kara was doing school here in Ottawa. UGH.

So I feel like absolute shit today.... and nothings really happened but I've cleaned my ass off since I've gotten home. All I've gotten was the silent treatment and slammed into the wall by my mom when she was passing by. THANK YOU. THANK YOU SO FUCKING MUCH.

Chelsea

UARAGHGA

2006-10-20T21:14:34Z

UAAAGGGGHHH

:(

Someone switch uterus's with me. God.
Feels like I'm being stabbed a million times in the gut. Fuck.

The Flatliners are playing tonight.... me, Chris, Jake and Sarah are going.
Mmm... moshing and booze goodness.

CRAMPS GO AWAY FUCK.

Chelsea

Self-Loathing

2006-10-20T00:36:24Z

Okay...

Well, this whole school thing isn't really working out for me.
Either I'm just not made out for school or I seriously really need to read a lot and do a lot of extra work.

My head feels like its going to explode right now. All I want to do is curl up in a ball and cry. I haven't been this stressed in awhile.....

Thank god tomorrow is Friday. I'm going to relax, get some work done, then get ridiculously drunk. Like, beyond drunk. I need some sort of frustration let out.

And I'm too tired to type anything else up about today. I'll type it in the next entry.

GAARAHASDOGJNADG *Head Explosion* BAAAAMMMM

Chelsea

AAARRRGGGG!!!

Anal Fuckage

2006-10-18T19:28:33Z

Oh boy....
I just failed my math test. The results were just posted.
FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCKITY FUCK.

My parents are going to be so mad...I don't want to get kicked out again. I tried so hard to study for that fucking test to only get a 41% on it. Like WHAT THE FUCK?!

Ugh, I'm so mad right now its not even funny. I don't even want to go to school anymore. I'm passing my other classes, just not DOS or Math. Its ridiculous. I fucking hate this.

And lately I've been missing a guy that I used to see. He was a sweetheart to me and I kind of just threw him away like all the rest. I miss Eric a lot. :( -sigh- He gives the best hugs. ERIC I MISS YOU </3 *stressed* Oh yeah, I'm going to see if I can get a band started up again. I need to do it, I'm going nuts. I love jamming with people and screaming. Lol. UAGH Chelsea